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Friday, April 20, 2012

Parenting: Baby vs. Toddler

As C gets older and more independent, I've realized how much my parenting style has changed. It seems that many of the things you weren't supposed to do with a baby are perfectly normal and sometimes necessary with a toddler. I'm sure most of you have seen, if not own, this informative book.

They should make a toddler version with updates to correct their dirty, dirty lies.

 For instance, this one...

With an infant, you gently try to suck those little boogers out with a specially made bulb. With a toddler, you chase them around the room with a tissue, finger, sleeve, or whatever you can grab to try and get that nose gold off their face.

Or this one...
Infants get a gentle massaging bath with a soft, specially made wash cloth. For a toddler? I can think of several times where a garden hose would have been very helpful.

And finally...

C's favorite activity as an infant was being held by someone (anyone) 24/7. C's current favorite activity is being thrown up in the air, turned upside down, climbing on me and crushing my bladder, and diving on pillows. They train parents to be gentle with children, but what do you do when they turn violent?!

Additional, lies...
This is going to happen at some point anyway no matter what you do.

             No matter how you check, you're going to get poop on your hands one day. 

While hanging a huge TV over the crib is obviously not recommended, 
five fifteen minutes of Disney Channel so you can have a cup of coffee is okay.

Well there you have it folks. Once you think you've got this infant thing down, they throw you a curve ball and you're back at square one. Even now, C is throwing curve balls and will continue until I become too senile to notice. Good thing its fun. :-)

*This post is obviously meant to be humorous and the mere fact that I need to write this reminds me how this world has lost its sense of humor. ::shakes head::


  1. Cute! This is a real book? Why didn't anyone get me this for my baby shower?!?

  2. Yeah, where the hell was that book when I needed it?! Too late now...

  3. Haha Yes, this is a real book and it comes with a spinner on the front that says "Mom" and "Dad" on it so you can spin for unfavorable baby duties!

  4. So cute! I am going to send this to my new mom friend. You should link up if you are not doing a Sat laugh post- LOVE it!

    1. Haha I hope she enjoys it! I'm working on my Saturday laughs right now, actually. ;)