I've always known that when Jeff and I had children, that both of us would continue to work and that I would be a working Mom. I can't lie, the thought terrified me. Yes, part of it is being away from said children, but mostly the realization of just how much my own Mom did for us on top of working, volunteering, etc. blew my mind. For those of you who knew my Mom, you know what I'm talking about. Super woman. Well, here I am in that reality, but you know what? Its not as scary as I once thought.
I'm convinced that child birth switches on characteristics that you never knew you had and gives you motivation and strength that you never believed you could possess. I went from being a "give me 8 hours of sleep or I'll hurt someone" type of person to being able to run completely efficiently on 3-4 hours of sleep AND get chores, errands, work, and Charlie's needs taken care of...without wanting to hurt someone. Most days I don't even think about it because it just. needs. to. happen. Truth be told, I've never felt so positive and empowered in my life. Its not my intention to pat myself on the back here; I'm genuinely shocked that I feel so good when really, I *should* feel overwhelmed and exhausted. Motherhood is a magical thing, I tell ya.
Now back to the other part of being a working Mom. The part that's a little harder; missing that sweet baby boy of mine. Day one wasn't too bad. Work was such a whirlwind of cleaning up my inbox and catching up on everything that it was quitting time before I knew it. As the days go on, however, I'm realizing how little time I have to spend with him during the day and how much I need to cherish that time. My work day consists of the normal 9 to 5 routine, but also comes with several night meetings throughout the week. Some nights, I'm gone for an hour or two. Tonight, for instance? I'll be gone from 5pm to 8pm and then 9:30pm to 11pm. :-( Not cool. There IS just enough time to run home and put him to bed, but I want more. After spending nearly every waking moment with him (in one capacity or another) for the past 10 months, I feel like an adorable little cuddly piece of me is missing.
Having a child and going back to work has certainly changed my outlook on life. I'm so appreciative of things that I may have overlooked before. I want life to slow down and I want to experience every second of it. Before, evenings were meant for sitting on the couch and generally wasting time and weekends were for sleeping in and putzing around (you know I'm right). Now? I've never appreciated that time off so much in my entire life. Yeah, there is still a small amount of sitting around doing nothing, but even then, its family time.
That being said, I'm proud to join the ranks of the working Moms out there. And to my own Mom - thank you.