I'm so proud of myself. I made it all day yesterday and most of today without totally breaking down and bawling my eyes out. It was a great day; we played, we hung out, and we went out to dinner (where C was cracking us all up by dancing along to "Love Shack" by the B52's). Then I got C ready for bed and we snuggled up to read two of my favorite bed time books - "On the Night You Were Born" and "Wherever You Are, My Love Will Find You," both by Nancy Tillman. We read them and then he let me rock him to sleep like he used to as a tiny baby. And I promptly lost it.
How can I possibly be this lucky? My heart was bursting with love and pride for this beautiful little boy I have. I will never understand how parents can tire of their children. Yes, there are hard days, but you know the kind of parents I'm talking about. The ones who wander around the store or sit in a restaurant seemingly tolerating their children. I hope to always show love in every moment, I hope to always play even when I'm tired, I hope to always see the best in C, even on those hard days. I can't help but thank him for all that he's taught me about myself in the past year and for what he will teach me in years to come. He doesn't understand now, but hopefully someday he will.
Wherever You Are, My Love Will Find You
I wanted you more than you’ll ever know,
So I sent love to follow wherever you go.
It’s high as you wish it. It’s quick as an elf.
You’ll never outgrow it…it stretches itself!
So climb any mountain…climb up to the sky!
My love will find you. My love can fly!
Make a big splash! Go out on a limb!
My love will find you. My love can swim!
It never gets lost, never fades, never ends,
You can dance ‘til you’re dizzy, paint ‘til you’re blue,
There’s no place, not one, that my love can’t find you.
And if someday you’re lonely or someday you’re sad,
Or you strike out at baseball or think you’ve been bad,
Just lift up your face, feel the wind in your hair.
That’s me, my sweet baby, my love is right there.
In the green of the grass, in the smell of the sea,
In the clouds floating by, at the top of a tree,
In the sound crickets make at the end of the day,
“You are loved. You are loved. You are loved.” they all say.
My love is so high, and so wide, and so deep,
It’s always right there, even when you’re asleep.
So hold your head high and don’t be afraid,
To march to the front of your own parade.
If you’re still my small babe or you’re all the way grown,
My promise to you is you’re never alone.
You are my angel, my darling, my star,
And my love will find you, wherever you are.
You are loved.